Monkey Business

Little Jill Jones is setting the hair
Of the affluent Christabelle Channing,
Many a year she's been hairdressing there
But it wasn't the life she was planning.
Travelling far were the hopes that she'd had
But her mother had died very early
And so she has had to take care of her dad
And her sisters, Jo, Cathy and Shirley.
And now as she rinses, conditions and sets
And listens to holiday stories
It's really amazing the hunger she gets
When hearing of tourism's glories.
And Christabelle always has plenty to say,
She's just spent a month in the East,
And her holiday tales have Jill carried away
It sounds such a wonderful feast.
Borneo, Thailand, and then into China,
And Jill's taking that hot jungle walk,
The animals just couldn't be any finer
Just listen to how those birds squawk.
The salon is hot and the driers are humming,
It's really quite moist and quite steamy,
It has this effect when the water is running
And it's making our Jill very dreamy.
She's hearing of all that Christabelle's done
And is soothed by Christabelle's natter
And is feeling the heat of a hot Chinese sun,
Surrounded by monkeys that chatter.

She's watching their antics, living her dreams,
She's climbing way up in the mountains,
She's crossing the forest, wading the streams,
Where rain water drips down in fountains.
Her life in the salon's now a long way away
She's forgotten the perms and the sets
She's watching the way that the palm trees sway
And searching for reptiles and insects.
Yes, this is the life that she wants to be leading,
But what's slithering deep in the trees?
A cobra, may be, that wants a good feeding
That's not quite the adventure she needs.
So perhaps it is time to make an escape
And her dream is pervaded by hissing,
Poor Christabelle's now an orang-utan ape
And the top of the hairspray is missing.


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