The Postman Knows The Postman knows the village well, For he’s lived there since a boy, There’s many a tale that he could tell And plenty of folk he’d annoy. He’d tell you the child with hair so curly Never arrived a whole month early, He saw her mum at the garden gate Kissing the chap at thirty eight! He’d tell you the man with cold blue eyes Has plenty of reason to feel despised, He’s got a new name but they live in fear Of his furtive glance and wicked leer. Now for the post along Talltrees Lane, That semi will never feel the same Since the owner died in the garden shed And only a month after he was wed, Trying to mend the electric mower, Poor young wife - but he didn’t know her. Now for the dog that grabs your shins Owned by the woman with too many chins, It’s lucky for her she gets little post, It’s one of the houses he dreads the most. On to the house that was recently burgled, Is that the fence that the burglar hurdled? And chased by the hound at forty-three - So it’s got its uses he’ll have to agree. Now for the post along Russets Grove It’s Mavis Davis who lives in this road, Yes, Mavis Davis, that’s really her name Moved down here from Honeypot Lane, Her husband ran off with the lodger, you know, And he moved to a cottage in Churchyard Row. Now for the farm and the new estate Then he’ll stop for a coffee and the rest can wait. Back to village