One in the Eye
They had to chuck young Digger out
For making too much noise,
It’s true that Digger likes to shout,
But then boys will be boys.
T’were all about the darts match, see,
And it were Digger’s go
But when he only scored a three
He had another throw,
The other team could not believe
What they saw Digger do
And Bif, acting as referee,
Did not share Digger’s view.
So Digger started shouting
But the others stood their ground,
T’were quite some darts match outing
For the team from local town.
Then Fred, he said it wasn't fair,
They'd now be one man short,
But Town Team argued fair and square
'Twere Digger that were caught.
They wouldn't mind another man
If a new one could be found
But there weren't no other darts fan
Or a substitute around.

Then ‘Arry got a bull’s eye
Which evened up the score,
When Digger entered, hair awry
From fight with Ted next door.
They’d had a good old barney
Those drinking pals of old,
They both had eyes for Marney
But that Marney, well she’s bold,
With Digger in the darts team
And Ted all on his own
Who'd ever know if she had been
To call on Ted at home?
But when young Digger left the pub
Her flirty antics got found out,
He’d called on Ted in quite a huff
And found them both entwined about
And so a fight had then ensued,
T'were Ted who were the victor,
And Digger, drunk and very rude,
Grabbed Marney and he hit her,
And Marney, looking pretty mauled,
Into the pub she came
And while the nearest police were called
She joined the darts team game,
And whether she was very good,
Or whether it were fluke,
She scored one eighty like you should
And team were cock-a-hoop.
She’d won the match they’d almost lost
T’were winning drinks all round,
And when they carted Digger off
He never made a sound!

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