Mrs Parker of the Grange,
Says her eggs are all free range,
But if you go and find her hens
You’ll see they’re all in tiny pens.
She says her ham is hand-reared pork,
Glory, hear that woman talk!
She’s never had a pig or sty,
It’s just another Parker lie.
Her home-made jams and other things
Are like the cakes the baker brings,
She’s never made a single one,
She couldn’t even bake a bun,
But it fulfils this lady’s greed
To sell the produce people need
By adding on an extra pound
To items saying ‘freshly ground’.