We were twins, conjoined you know,
But separated long ago,
By doctors skill and surgeons knives
Which helped to save our tiny lives,
And though we now are free to roam
We seldom travel far from home.
We spent our childhood in the town
And then began to look around
To find ourselves both homes for us,
Two homes together was a must,
But nothing ever could we find
Until we bought this land and signed
To build one cottage here, one there,
A plot for life we both could share,
A mirror image of ourselves,
A little like the steeple’s bells
That bing and bong across the lane,
The left and right so much the same.
I have a wife and so has he,
A son for him and a son for me,
Our wives are blonde and both named Sue
Our sons they share their own name too,
Because we called them after Dad
It made him really very glad
Mine is Billie, sometimes Bill
His is William or simply Will.
They think it’s rather fun to get
Two dads like us and so they bet
Their friends to guess which one is which
And ask us both to go and switch
But if you knew us like they do
Mistakes like that are very few.
We married in the parish here
A double wedding, have no fear,
And both our brides were wearing white
It truly was a splendid sight.
A honeymoon we four did book
The clerk gave us the strangest look
It must have made him so surprised
To have a booking for two wives!
We’ve never shared an angry word
No argument is ever heard,
We always know each other’s thoughts
And love our gym and other sports,
Swimming, running, bikes and bowls
It’s true you’d call us sporty souls.
In fact employment too we share,
We joke that it’s a job share rare,
We get along so very well
That people find it hard to tell
Which is Mark and which is Mike
Because we really are alike.
The only thing that gives away
Our difference is the funny way
We hold our pencils when we write
I with the left hand, he the right.
In fact the left is where I place
My starting foot in any race,
He, of course, the right will start
And yet we end no less apart,
The medals that we’ve had to share
Would make all normal folk despair
But we are happy with our lives
It's our twin brother that we prize.