One in the Eye
They had to chuck young
Digger out
For making too much noise, It’s true that Digger likes to shout, But then boys will be boys. T’were all about the darts match, see, And it were Digger’s go But when he only scored a three He had another throw, The other team could not believe What they saw Digger do And Bif, acting as referee, Did not share Digger’s view. So Digger started shouting But the others stood their ground, T’were quite some darts match outing For the team from local town. Then Fred, he said it wasn't fair, They'd now be one man short, But Town Team argued fair and square 'Twere Digger that were caught. They wouldn't mind another man If a new one could be found But there weren't no other darts fan Or a substitute around. Then ‘Arry got a bull’s eye Which evened up the score, When Digger entered, hair awry From fight with Ted next door. They’d had a good old barney Those drinking pals of old, They both had eyes for Marney But that Marney, well she’s bold, With Digger in the darts team And Ted all on his own Who'd ever know if she had been To call on Ted at home? But when young Digger left the pub Her flirty antics got found out, He’d called on Ted in quite a huff And found them both entwined about And so a fight had then ensued, T'were Ted who were the victor, And Digger, drunk and very rude, Grabbed Marney and he hit her, And Marney, looking pretty mauled, Into the pub she came And while the nearest police were called She joined the darts team game, And whether she was very good, Or whether it were fluke, She scored one eighty like you should And team were cock-a-hoop. She’d won the match they’d almost lost T’were winning drinks all round, And when they carted Digger off He never made a sound! Back to village |